I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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