Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
