theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
