So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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