I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
