That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Your dad touched me again.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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