I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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