just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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