If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
