Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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