im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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