Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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