I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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