Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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