is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
