I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
