apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
