So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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