I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
