i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
