All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
