How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
