its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
