well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
