Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
