i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
