I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize