Ambien. No doubt about it.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
