Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
