her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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