tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
