thus making me awesome and them whores
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
