wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
this will be a night to untag.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
