If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
NoShamevember. You game?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
