o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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