On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
