capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
