just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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