I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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