She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Randomize
