i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just forgot I was standing up.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize