i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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