What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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