I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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