my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
