she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
