This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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