So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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