For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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