Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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