my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
