if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
