Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
