I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
