I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
