this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
