that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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