my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize