the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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