i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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