So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
