We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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