We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
