Midget sex pt 2 tonight
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
