see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
